July 3, 2015

Happy Independence Day, America

Gonna be busy the next few days, so here's my birthday wishes to the country I love.

Happy Independence Day.

Be well.

June 16, 2015

I Salute You, Mystery Person(s)

On June 8th, there was this event:

About 2,200 pigs were set loose after a semitrailer overturned in Xenia Township. 

WLWT News 5's Jackie Congedo said a fire chief told her between 300-500 piglets were killed in the crash. Another 300-400 were loose from the crashed truck. 

"There's quite a few pigs that got out and ran from the accident. They're in the woods. I don't think we'll ever get all of them, I really, really don't. We'll try as hard as we can to retrieve all of them, but we probably won't retrieve all of them," Xenia Township Fire Chief Dean Fox said.

Today, there's this:

Three small houses - one constructed of hay, one of sticks and another of bricks - have been constructed along U.S. 35 in Greene County where a semitrailer hauling 2,200 piglets crashed last week. Officials were focused last week on finding surviving piglets. 

Masterfully done, mystery prankster(s).  Masterfully done.

June 10, 2015

Let's Do This

My dear readers:

Let's make this happen.

Spread the word.  It doesn't cost much... a couple bucks for a card and a stamp.

Make me proud...

June 4, 2015

What is Courage, What is a Hero?

If you've had a television or radio on in the past few days, you probably know that Bruce Jenner has decided that he is now a woman, blah blah blah.

Some people (not me, but some) are calling this "courageous" and "heroic" and what not.

Others, predictably, are bringing out the "But here's a wounded soldier... That's a real hero" line.

Now, what follows might piss you off, and if so, then that's your right.

I've got a great deal of respect and admiration for our men and women in uniform, fighting in combat to protect our freedoms, provide freedom for others, help in disaster relief around the world, etc.

But I don't necessarily think they meet MY definition of hero, and here's why:

They signed up for it.  They chose it.  They knew what they were getting into when they joined.  And let's be honest: Anyone who joined the military after, say, Septermber 12th, 2001, had to know what was coming.

That doesn't make them less admirable or worthy of our respect, but I don't know if it rises to "hero" status.

Who, then, meets the criteria?  Well, let's talk about that.

That single mom, raising two kids alone because she finally had enough of her ex-husband's drunken rage and violence and cut out with $50 in her pocket and two weeks to payday?  

The guy who, having never had more than a high school education, picks up a second job and works 14+ hours a day to make sure his wife and kids don't have to skip a meal?

A bystander who runs toward a burning car to pull out a family of total strangers before the car fire engulfs them?

The college kid delivering pizzas and barely making ends meet who still finds time and money to work at an animal rescue for stray dogs?

A middle-age couple, childless their whole life because of fertility issues, that decides to adopt an orphan, raise that kid as their own, provide a home and love and an education?

These, readers, are worthy of the title.  They are ordinary folk, going out of their way to do something extra-ordinary for another, without thought or want of reward or recognition.

They are the heroes.  Not an attention-monger who hasn't done anything since the 1976 Olympics.

May 28, 2015

One More Circuit

Another trip around the sun for your humble scribe.

It's been an eventful year, but I'm still upright and breathing, I have my wife at my side, my friends at my back, and the sun on my face.

That's as good a birthday gift as I could want.

May 27, 2015

What's the Term?

From elsewhere:

Friend 1: "What's that term you use to refer to people who leave the big city and move to a small town for lower taxes and less crime, then complain because they no longer have rapid response 24/7 when they call 9-1-1"?

Friend 2: "Idiots?"

May 19, 2015

Dear Abby

Dear Abby,
My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning, and, when I confront him, he denies everything.. What's worse, everyone knows that he cheats on me. It is so humiliating.

Also, since he lost his job 14 years ago, he hasn't even looked for a new one.
All he does all day is smoke cigars, cruise around and shoot the bull with his buddies, while I have to work to pay the bills.

Since our daughter went away to college he doesn't even pretend to like me, and even hints that I may be a lesbian.

What should I do?

Dear Clueless:
Grow up and dump him. You don't need him anymore! Good grief woman, you're running for President of the United States.


Absolutely. Brilliant.

(^^ Make with the clicky)

Nicely done.

May 11, 2015

Just a little patience RIGHT THE HELL NOW

Elder Spawn is approaching 15 years of age, and she's got about 7 times more mouth than ass to put behind it.

I'm getting sass and attitude and back talk on a daily basis, and I'm nearing my breaking point. 

Missus JB is every bit as flustered too, but it seems that nothing works to curb the attitude. 

I've decided it's time to start deleting things until she shapes up.  Cell phone, gone. User account on her laptop, locked.  Considering putting a pass code on the cable box for the TV, but then Spawn the Younger word suffer too, and that's not fair.

How the hell did we get to a spot where 14 year old kids think it is OK to tell an adult "Shut up, you're such an idiot"?  I can't grasp this... it never would have crossed my mind to speak to an adult that way and if I had done so, my mother would have knocked my ass into the next time zone.

I know a lot of folks will say "The teen years are the hardest and you just have to be patient and teen girls are the worst" and I just need to wait it out.

Problem is, I don't know if I can (wait it out.)  Historically I'm not given to a great deal of patience.

So how does one learn to be patient when dealing with kids?  Because if it was anyone else speaking to me or my wife like that, I'd knock their damn teeth out. 

Patience.... *hack*spit*

Right *AND* Wrong

I find myself struggling with this story as reported:

First, I'm glad the young lady is safe and away from the scumbag who (allegedly) did this to her.

Now, then:

A man looking for his abducted cousin kicked in the back door of an abandoned house and shot and killed her kidnapper, authorities in Louisiana said. 
The shooting Friday has been ruled justified by the Lafayette Parish Sheriff’s Department.

So far so good.  Woman is kidnapped, family decides to pound the pavement rather than sitting at home waiting on a phone call.  I've no beef with this.

The cousin, whose name was withheld by the sheriff’s department, said he heard screams from the house, said Sheriff’s Capt. Kip Judice. 
The cousin said he saw a man start stabbing 29-year-old Bethany Arceneaux when he broke through the door. The cousin fired several shots with a handgun, but he told police he wasn’t sure if he hit the kidnapper in the dark house, Judice said.

(Bold emphasis is mine...)

Here's where I get confused: He could see a man stabbing the victim, but the house was too dark to know if his shots found the target?  Isn't there some rule... the fourth rule, I believe... that talks about knowing your target and what's behind it?  Also, how could he have enough light to see the scum stabbing her, but not enough light to know if he his aforementioned scum?

Inside, officers found the body of Scott Thomas, who had a child with Arceneaux and had previously violated a restraining order protecting her, Judice said.

So once again, a piece of paper didn't stop a scumbag from being a scumbag, but an armed citizen did.  I'd like to shake this man's hand.  Well done, sir.

May 5, 2015

But That's Different!!1!!!eleventy!

Chris Matthews, of MSNBC:

[Regarding] the attack in Texas, we’re learning more about the gunmen who opened fire at an event where an anti-Islamic group held a contest on who could be the nastiest – draw the lastiest [sic] the nastiest cartoon of Mohamed. Do you believe that people set that kind of a mousetrap?

…I remember the old days when the Nazi Party and the Communist Party would sort of team up in a weird, sick, symbiotic way. One would have an event, and the other would attack it, you know? Well, I think she caused this trouble, and whether this trouble came yesterday, or it came two weeks from now, it’s going to be in the air as long as you taunt.

(Emphasis mine)

You know, kinda like how women cause trouble by wearing short skirts and heels and show cleavage?  Because rape is going to be in the air as long as you taunt, right?


You f-ing MORON.

April 28, 2015

Tactical Nostalgia

Was browsing over a local gun forum, checking out the listings in the "For Sale" section, and stumbled across a Winchester Model 12 in 16G for sale.

The pictures showed a wood stock, deeply enriched by years of palm sweat, cheek oils, and more than one day exposed to the sun and wind and rain.  There was a soft hint of rust long since removed, the metal slightly discolored, and again it spoke to countless days in the field, being used to take game or for protection of the homestead.  There's a bead sight, nothing more.  It's a shooter's gun, made in a time when one's skill and practice were needed because you didn't have a scope that adjusted for parallax.

I looked at that gun, and thought about the history.  It was made in 1937, nearly 80 years old now, and it invoked a nostalgic twang.  In many ways, it reminds me of the Marlin Model 60 in .22LR that my dad handed to me some years ago.  It's a gun with history, character, and personality.

I wonder if, 80 years from now, we'll ever have the same sense of memory and longing for the "good ol' days" when we look at our composite furniture AR-15s with the FDE stock and foregrip and the laser pointer and the red dot sight.

I love my current vehicle, a 2005 Jeep Grand Cherokee.  It drives easily, fits enough gear to go camping with the family, and has been a trusty, reliable, hard-working ride.

Some day, I'll get a new vehicle.  If current trends continue, the new ride will have computer controlled this and that, a navigation screen, will integrate with my home computers and send me an email to alert me that the oil needs changed, and have a built-in coffee maker with heated cup holders.  And I'll enjoy driving it.  But some day, I'm sure, I'll think fondly back to the Jeep and smile at the memories, and let the old nostalgic sense awash over me again.