July 1, 2012

Special Operations

My hound, Jake, has a very high prey drive, and if he sees a smaller animal, he's after it.  I've not (yet) had much luck controlling this, but that's mostly because I haven't had enough time with him to really work on things.  He's doing fine on basic obedience, but he still charges the fence when he sees a squirrel.

This morning, I saw him sitting absolutely still, focused on the window well in the back yard.  "Uh, oh" I said to myself, for I know that look.


Recon Platoon, maintaing a watch over the front line. 

A causal glance into the well revealed a baby bunny.  It seems that when I unleashed the hounds this morning for their bathroom break, he chased that bunny into the window well.

OpFor... or is it OpFur?

The bunny could not jump out of the well, Jake can't get into the well.  Folks, this here is what they call a Stalemate.

Being the Master of the House, and the only member with opposable thumbs, it naturally falls to me to remedy the situation.

Commence Operation Bunny Rescue.

After a quick survey of the available items from my TO&E, I selected the Mark 1, Mod 1, Animal Capture Device - Small.  Yes, it looks like an empty 12-pack box, but don't pay that no never mind.  I also opted for the Special Weapons Equipment - Entry Pressure and Energetic Release device, version 3.1 (in 5.56 NATO, natch.)

Yes, the SWEEPER looks like a broom.  What of it?
I prefer the desert tan paint scheme on my SWEEPER instead of Tacti-cool black. 

Now, you might think that building such tactical equipment that looks so simple is a flaw in design, but I assure you that the innocuous appearance of such devices is a stroke of pure genius.  If my SWEEPER is, somehow, malfunctioning, I can always find a ready replacement.  I have three SWEEPERs of different models, and while some folks argue that SWEEPERs should be regulated and controlled, I say that you can have my SWEEPERs when you pry them from my COLD. DEAD. HANDS.

ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ.

Assuming a prone position in front of the entrenched Rabbit position, I deftly, yet carefully, used my SWEEPER to lay down enough suppressing force to force the enemy troop to the left... right into the Animal Capture Device - Small.

After Action Report revealed zero casualties and a successful release of the POW into the space under the back deck.  

I'm not a bragging fellow, and prefer a measure of humility when recounting my exploits, but I believe that this tactical approach and execution ranks up there with some of the greatest exploits in history.  The Capture of Kiev in 1941... The Inchon Landings...Brecourt Manor... And Operation Bunny Rescue.

1 comment:

Old NFO said...

LOL, nicely done Sir! :-) Hopefully the pup got a treat too!