April 4, 2009

Add 'em up

From Dr. Edwin Leap, via my friend Ric, comes this gem:

The Leap Non-Severity Scale:


Profanity:

3 Unable to speak profanity or make profane gestures.

2 Slurs profanity, exposes genitalia or makes confusing lewd gestures.

1 Speaks profanity clearly, but with the same poor sentence structure he or she uses for English. Recognizable, but not very interesting.

0 Profanity used like poetry, flowing and uninterrupted. Suggests physical acts neither legal nor, in many instances, actually possible. Elaborate gestures.

Smoking:

3 Unable to smoke unless actually on fire.

2 Asks for cigarette, but realizes he cannot hold cigarette or inhale smoke.

1 Smokes in room, with oxygen on high flow and friends smoking for company.

0 Wanders parking lot still partially attached to backboard, asking everyone for cigarette.

Violence:

3 So ill or impaired that behavior can be controlled without Droperidol.

2 Threatens doctor and staff with death, but can’t actually move due to pain or disability.

1 Points to each staff member individually and says “I know where you live and I’ll kill you” as police officers hold him down on bed.

0 Actually attacks staff member.

Scoring:

0 - 3: Can be discharged to jail or home without actually being examined.

4 - 6: Probably will require evaluation, although odds of dying still relatively low.

6 - 9: Most likely has real injury or illness. However, requires diligent re-evaluation using Leap Non-severity Scale (LNSS) so that patient can be down-graded as he or she improves or becomes increasingly annoying.

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