January 21, 2009

Wives and dogs

Why some men have wives, and other men have dogs:

1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.

2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.

4. A dog's parents never visit.

5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

6. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day.

7. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.

8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.

9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get another dog?"

10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.

11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.

12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.

13. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.

14. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your shit.


PJ Geraghty said...

I thought about sharing this with Mrs. Geraghty. But since I have this incurable addiction to oxygen, and since I have to sleep next to her every night, I decided against it.

Although I will say that #1 is also true of wives...it's just a different kind of excitement...

Jeff B said...

PJ: You want me to e-mail it to her? What's the worst that could happen, anyway?


EE said...

You are funny.

I'm going to wake my hubby up tonight and ask him "if I died.."

He's probably read this post so he'll something along the lines of "you are an asshole, go back to sleep."

J-Ro said...

It goes both ways, you know...

Husbands & Dogs:

Dogs don't leave the seat up.

Dogs will let you talk to them even when the game is on.

Dogs are thrilled with leftovers for supper.

Dogs don't complain when you use them to warm up your cold feet, or when you kick them for snoring.

Just sayin'...

EE said...

I woke him up and asked. He flipped me off. Then the baby started crying and he went and got him.

Good times.

Rogue Medic said...

9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get another dog?"

Why do I get the feeling that, No, I'd stuff you and keep you in the basement, just like Norman Bates did, was the wrong answer?

Oops, that was Mother, not Wife. Maybe I'll have better luck next time. :-)