In March, New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer becomes embroiled in an embarrassing scandal when a criminal investigation reveals that he looks like a large suit-wearing rodent. Also he has been seeing a high-class prostitute known as "Kristen" in a Washington hotel. Spitzer resigns in disgrace; "Kristen," hounded by the media and no longer able to pursue her profession, receives a $23 billion bailout from the federal government.Read the rest.
In politics, Barack Obama addresses the issue of why, in his 20 years of membership in Trinity United Church of Christ in Chicago, he failed to notice that the pastor, Jeremiah Wright, is a racist lunatic. In a major televised address widely hailed for its brilliance, Obama explains that . . . Okay, nobody really remembers what the actual explanation was. But everybody agrees it was mesmerizing.
Meanwhile, John McCain, still searching for the perfect running mate, tells his top aides in a conference call that he wants "someone who is capable of filling my shoes." Unfortunately, he is speaking into the wrong end of his cellphone, and his aides think he said "someone who is capable of killing a moose." Shortly thereafter, McCain stuns the world, and possibly himself, by selecting Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, a no-nonsense hockey mom with roughly 114 children named after random nouns such as "Hamper."
In yet another troubling economic indicator, Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac rob a liquor store.
December 28, 2008
The Year that Was
Apologies for nothing new this week. I've been back home, visiting family, "enjoying" the weather, and just relaxing for a few days. More on that later, but for now, this is funny: