When I was seated in the dentists chair, I began to sweat profusely. The nurse took one look at me and said, "I'll go get a mask, hon. You need gas."
"Whatever. It's not going to help, but I appreciate it."
Can I just say that I want to marry nitrous and have lots of little giggly babies?
Things I said while high as a muh'fuckin kite:"Do you hear that? That music?"
"What music, Mrs. McKnob? What are you hearing?"
"It sounds like the theme to Girls Gone Wild."
"Umm, no, that's KLove. The Jesus station."
Put down your coffee before you read.